Alex Roque

Writer By Night

On Writer’s Block

4 Comments

“Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.” —George Orwell

I’ve been writing pretty heavily since JaNoWriMo of 2010. I know that’s not long, considering how long so many other people have been writing, but it was still a big deal for me.

I hadn’t hit any major walls before with writing. With NaNoWriMos I could just go forth and hit my word count without much struggles, and most nights I could dedicate a couple hours to writing.

But the past two months have been hard. I thought that NaNo this year would help pull me out of my funk, but instead it just seemed to make it worse.

I have had major writer’s block, and it had completely overtaken my ability to consider writing on many nights, including blog posts. I admit, that I let it get to me much more than I should have, but I became exhausted from the effort it took to push words out. It was something I hadn’t experienced before. So that’s partly the reason for my silence here, lately. I felt guilty and terrible that I couldn’t put pen to paper and make things happen.

I know might sound dramatic, but hey, this is where I talk about things like feelings.

I am still working through it, writing this blog was something I figured would help me start. I didn’t finish NaNo – I only got about 18k down, and I’m not very happy with it. I realize now though that I should be happy I even have something, it’s more words than what I had before, but I’m still disappointed that I couldn’t make it to 50k.

I think what made this the hardest was that it was my first time really going through a period where I felt that it just wasn’t working, that I just couldn’t write. The need was there, but when I sat down it just. . .went blank. There were several outside influences contributing to this as well, and they are things I am starting to work through. In general October-November was a hard month for me, and I’m hoping to push my way through for a better December to finish off the year.

The first step is I’m going to just sit down and write. No matter what comes out. The second step is to work less, and try to push more focus on what I love doing most and not the day job. Also, to not just lay on the couch when I get home, because that place sucks you in and doesn’t let you go. But it is hard, after working a long day in front of a computer. So I’m going to try to get away from my desk more at work. Also, writer’s groups. I have had way to much anxiety about just. . . everything related to going to meet ups in my area.

/takes a breath

On the plus side, I have been working on cosplay a lot, which has been great for still getting some creative energy out. I’ve learned how to make necklaces, though they are very rough when looked at closely, I’m still pretty proud.

20131123_171359

That’s 4 necklaces all together

So anyways, I don’t know if this is correct way to handle what I’ve gone through, I’m definitely up for any advice so that  I don’t fall so deep down the rabbit hole next time.

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4 thoughts on “On Writer’s Block

  1. Necklace looks great! As for all the writing. I’m on my second year NaNo’ing, and last year, oh, how last year beat me up. I think I only got about 12k words in before I let myself fade away into the Non-NaNo’ing ether. It’s hard. A tough gig. Really. And you know that. Sounds like you put in what you had to offer, or the world just slapped you down. It happens. It sucks. I know. Try again. Try it when it’s not NaNo. Try it when it is.
    Keep trying…when you can, and just don’t stop trying. You will get beat up from time to time, but if this is really what you want to do, then you’ll just keep going. Seems to be how that works. If you need to, if you want to. you will.
    Everything is cyclical, so let yourself have your downs, they will enrich the ups.
    PS–Nice Necklaces! I know I said it once already, but the idea that someone makes their own jewelry is mind blowing to me. I wouldn’t know where to start.

    • Thanks so much for your awesome comment and support! I will definitely not stop writing – this was just the lull in the cycle for me, I guess. :)

      How did NaNo go for you this year?

      And thank you for your kind words about the necklaces! They were a pain in the ass to make. XDDD

      • NaNo is a blast this year. I’m approaching 42K today, and need to punch out 2700 words or so to make 50K. It’s been a push, and this last week has been a real grind, but some good stuff has come out of it.
        I’ve enjoyed the whole process this time around, even when my brain couldn’t be squeezed for any more ideas. I could go on for an hour about everything, good, bad, and in between, but I won’t make you suffer through that. Thanks for asking!

  2. I feel your pain. I only made it to 30k this year – my first time to not succeed at NaNo. BUT on the flip side I’ve never been in the process of creating three websites at the same time, and running my own business before either. And I know that you were crazy busy as well. Sometimes we just have to cut ourselves some slack – and say – wow – look how much I’ve accomplished!! And making that necklace took hours of time – and it was an extremely creative process. Maybe your creative well needed to be refilled before writing would work well. You did what you needed – perhaps?

    Write on!

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